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BLAME SATURN, NOT ME
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  • BLAME SATURN, NOT ME
  • BLAME SATURN, NOT ME
  • BLAME SATURN, NOT ME
  • BLAME SATURN, NOT ME
  • BLAME SATURN, NOT ME
  • BLAME SATURN, NOT ME
  • BLAME SATURN, NOT ME
 
BLAME SATURN, NOT ME

BLAME SATURN, NOT ME

Color: Black
Size: Please choose a size
Size Guide
$34.99
Shipping calculated at checkout.

★★★★★ ASTROLOGER APPROVED

Satisfaction Guarateed

Free

Returns

Fast

Shipping

Description

BLAME SATURN, NOT ME. 🪐

The timing was bad. The delay wasn't personal. Saturn's been sitting on this transit for months and somehow it's still my plans that keep falling apart, not his.

I did my part. He's the one running behind schedule.

What you're actually getting: heavyweight Comfort Colors 1717 tee. Garment-dyed, gets softer every wash. Unisex fit, true to size. Available XS–3XL.

Take it up with the planet 🌚
Premium Everyday Comfort

100% Ring-Spun Cotton
The good cotton. Softer, stronger, and way more durable than whatever "standard cotton" is pretending to be. Pre-shrunk so it stays your size-not a smaller, sadder version of itself.

Breathable & Lightweight
4.5 oz fabric that doesn't make you feel like you're being slowly suffocated. Morning to night, you're comfortable. Revolutionary concept, we know.

True-to-Size Unisex Fit
A relaxed silhouette that actually fits like it was meant to be worn by a human body. Most body types, no weird proportions, no guessing games.
Built to Last

Double-Needle Stitching... Everywhere That Matters
Shoulders, armholes, neck, waistband, sleeves. Reinforced where it counts so repeated wear doesn't mean it slowly falls apart on you.

Seamless Collar
Quarter-turned construction means no awkward center crease and a collar that holds its shape wash after wash. It looks intentional because it is.

Tear-Away Label
Rip it out, wear it, done. No scratchy tag, no sticky residue, no regrets.
Free & Easy Returns

30-Day Money Back Guarantee
Love it or we'll give you your money back. No hoops, no hassle, no "have you tried turning it off and on again" customer service runaround.

Printed in the USA
Your order is printed and shipped right here on American soil. No international layovers, no mystery origin stories.

Related products

Good cotton. No notes.

FAQ's

Where are you located?

We're a US-based company and we actually print on American soil, California and Texas, to be exact. No mystery warehouses, no "ships from somewhere in the Pacific" vibes. Just real printing, in real states, on a real map.

International? We've got you. We've partnered with printers around the world so your tee arrives without a passport stamp and a three-week delay.
Do you ship internationally?

Yes. Astrology doesn't care what country you're in, and neither do we.We ship worldwide. Rates vary by location, check the shipping policy for the specifics, or just order it and trust the universe.(Saturn will handle the logistics.
Will I get a tracking number for my order?

Obviously. We're not going to just take your money and go quiet, that's a Scorpio moon move and we're better than that.Once your order ships, you'll get an email with a tracking number so you can obsessively refresh the carrier page at 11pm. We see you. We've been there.
What materials are your products made of?

Not that mystery fabric from the merch table at a concert you regret attending. We print exclusively on Comfort Colors: the brand that basically invented "wait, is this shirt getting softer the more I wash it?" Yes. Yes it is.

Garment-dyed, heavyweight, and pre-shrunk so it doesn't pull a disappearing act on you after laundry day. Exact specs live on each product page since styles vary, but the through-line is the same: you'll actually want to wear it. Repeatedly. On purpose.